tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post4612654925104888063..comments2023-12-09T00:33:24.572-08:00Comments on Novel Matters: Writer's Workshop: Perfect Pitch Part 2. The One Line and Query LetterBonnie Grovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11377519561074174038noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-21228021281193827652013-08-30T08:26:07.045-07:002013-08-30T08:26:07.045-07:00Thanks, Bonnie. I love the flavor you gave this. U...Thanks, Bonnie. I love the flavor you gave this. Unfortunately, it's not a match (probably would be a great book!). Will keep at it with voice infusion in mind. Thank you!Camille Eidehttp://www.camilleeide.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-9578809604319471132013-08-29T13:35:42.697-07:002013-08-29T13:35:42.697-07:00Cherry: Bookmarks are our friends.
Camille: Kudos...Cherry: Bookmarks are our friends.<br /><br />Camille: Kudos on this pitch line. I can't quite get the flavor of the novel from the pitch. Is it genre? Non-genre? Can you infuse it with the voice of the novel? For example, if it were a romp of a novel it might read:<br /><br />A writer-for-hire in 1950's Hollywood trades in her high-heels for gumshoes in order to clear her name off McCarthy's hit list, while trying not to fall too hard for an actor who's too busy getting in trouble to notice her.<br /><br />Words like "writer-for-hire", "high-heels" and "gumshoes" offer a flavor of the era, setting, and genre (which may not fit with the actual feel of your book--just an example), and the lines "tring not to fall too hard", and "too busy to notice her" makes us like her and helps us identify with her.<br /><br />Make sense?Bonnie Grovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11377519561074174038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-67814865027989750522013-08-28T21:19:29.221-07:002013-08-28T21:19:29.221-07:00Oddly, my comment this morning showed up, then dis...Oddly, my comment this morning showed up, then disappeared. I'm writing a one-liner about that. Next time.<br /><br />Bonnie, I've heard lots of great teaching on honing those one-liners, but haven't seen it done exactly this way. This makes great sense, and is so....scientific. Love it. So I tried it with my current wip:<br /><br />"A WWII widow, working for hire to write a Hollywood memoir, finds herself under suspicion of Communist activity by McCarthy's eager new agent and must prove her innocence before she and the actor she secretly loves become the next Julius and Ethel Rosenberg." <br /><br />What's tough for me here is that the MC has 2 conflicts going on---the internal heart issue and the external drama. The trouble with this one-line (below) is that it makes the story sound more like a suspense than a love story, but in fact, it's stronger on the love and lighter on the suspense. BUT...the era and all that stuff is still key (to help show this is 1953), don't you think? Any thoughts? <br /><br />Camille Eidehttp://www.camilleeide.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-66155656049166124882013-08-28T20:21:18.782-07:002013-08-28T20:21:18.782-07:00So much good material.
So little memory space.
Goo...So much good material.<br />So little memory space.<br />Good thing there are bookmarks.Cherry Odelberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18129695440875981426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-81971290150167780902013-08-28T12:15:28.325-07:002013-08-28T12:15:28.325-07:00Jennifer: You're most welcome. Thanks for the ...Jennifer: You're most welcome. Thanks for the kudos.<br /><br />Susie: I like the way you think. Bonnie Grovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11377519561074174038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-22613273658197240172013-08-28T11:30:09.413-07:002013-08-28T11:30:09.413-07:00You timed this perfectly, Bonnie. All of us gearin...You timed this perfectly, Bonnie. All of us gearing up for ACFW should pull together our pennies and send you a big, huge chocolate bar (fair trade, of course). <br /><br />Thank you.Susie Finkbeinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02134090068018561836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-89094331690340397622013-08-28T11:09:54.280-07:002013-08-28T11:09:54.280-07:00Bonnie, you are an EXCELLENT mentor for these thin...Bonnie, you are an EXCELLENT mentor for these things! I know this for a fact!!<br />Thankyouthankyouthankyou for this!!<br />It's goin' in the bookmark file! Which, I guess, is the computer version of "on the fridge". Jennifer Majorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696261499182486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-51815475566683833582013-08-28T09:28:50.784-07:002013-08-28T09:28:50.784-07:00Patti: Mwah!
Sally: Great question. Requested mat...Patti: Mwah!<br /><br />Sally: Great question. Requested materials letters are brief and usually don't include any pitch line, or plot summary, because if the agent has requested material, she already knows this information. There are exceptions, though.<br /><br />Here are a couple of scenarios:<br /><br />If you've met the agent at a conference and she has requested you send her a proposal, this qualifies as requested material, but you need to include all proposal elements she's asked for as well as a great query letter.<br /><br />the subject line of your email should read:<br /><br />Requested Materials--Agent Name--Name of Novel, by Author Name<br /><br />Then, structure your letter much the same as the query I've exampled in this post, but begin with:<br /><br />Dear Ms. Agent,<br /><br />I enjoyed meeting with you at the Specific Writer's Conference, and appreciate the opportunity to send you the proposal for my GENRE novel as you requested.<br /><br />*<br /><br />If the agent has already seen the proposal, or leaps over this step (it happens) and requests the full ms you send a very short email:<br /><br />The subject line of your email should read:<br /><br />Requested Materials--Agent Name--Name of Novel, by Author Name<br /><br />Date<br /><br />Dear Agent,<br /><br />Thank you for the opportunity to send you the full manuscript of TITLE.<br /><br />I look forward to hearing from you.<br /><br />Yours truly, <br />Hopeful Writer<br /><br />It may seem redundant to include the agent's name in the requested materials letter, but, unless you know it's a boutique agency and the email will end up on that agent's iPhone, include the name. Large agencies have many agents, and you don't want your manuscript to cause questions. Bonnie Grovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11377519561074174038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-72404673660758940182013-08-28T08:11:14.853-07:002013-08-28T08:11:14.853-07:00Thank you, Bonnie. I've heard many tips on wri...Thank you, Bonnie. I've heard many tips on writing the one liner, but I don't think I've seen it broken down this way. Now...I've tried it with my current wip and have a problem: My heroine has two problems to solve: one is internal, one external. <br /><br />"A WWII widow, working for hire to write a Hollywood memoir, finds herself under suspicion of Communist activity by McCarthy's best agent and must prove her innocence before she and the actor she secretly loves become the next Julius and Ethel Rosenberg."<br /><br />I tried to consolidate them both here but I'm afraid I am losing the inner battle in her heart, the love story, which is central to this book. It's not suspense with some romance on the side, but vice versa.<br /><br />Any thoughts? Thank you, Bonnie!Camille Eidehttp://www.camilleeide.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-15382403776702020862013-08-28T06:04:30.386-07:002013-08-28T06:04:30.386-07:00How would the query letter change as a cover lette...How would the query letter change as a cover letter if you're sending requested materials?Sally Bradleyhttp://www.sallybradley.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360410252358941163.post-58578745145002296162013-08-28T05:58:05.772-07:002013-08-28T05:58:05.772-07:00What I must add to this is that you know what you&...What I must add to this is that you know what you're talking about. Agents respond to you and your queries. Thanks for sharing, Bonnie!Patti Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01210807015376289703noreply@blogger.com