Making The List

I have a confession to make. At 10:30 last night, I was curled up in bed with The Help, trying to finish before our book club met at church, and I read this sentence: "Copy's due on Thursdays. And if I don't like your style, I'm not printing it or paying you squat." Like a thunderbolt, the realization struck: Copy's due tomorrow. Tomorrow is my turn to post on Novel Matters.

It was no use. By that time of night my brain was fried. I hope you won't stone me for sharing my last post from She Reads (our sister blog) with you instead. I'm wearing my hardhat, just in case. Here goes:

Occasionally I make the mistake of walking into a Michael’s store without a list. Inevitable sensory overload and the lure of cute scrapbooking doodads and glittery beads overwhelm me with possibilities. When I come out of my fog I’m wandering the seasonal aisle with pumpkins and scarecrows and fall leaves. In July. I’ve learned to make a list or at least stop at the entrance to drill myself on why I’m there before crossing the threshold.

I made a similar mistake yesterday when I walked into my local library without a book list. Now, you could put it down to ADHD (which I’m not) or chemo-brain fade (that was 13 years ago) or age (hey, I’m not that old) but I’ll bet you’ve done the same thing. I stood before the tall stacks of books ad infinitum and I couldn’t think of a single author or title I was looking for.

If you are a regular visitor of She Reads, you’ve discovered a way to find great books in the genres or markets that appeal to you. But if you happen to find yourself in a bookstore or library without your list, or if you like to read widely in both fiction and non-fiction or discover hidden gems, what do you do? How does a book make the list?

The book’s cover may be where you’d start. Publishers invest a lot of time and money in designing book covers to catch your eye and draw you in. The color, font and design send messages about the story. An Amish cap is unmistakable. Soft colors and a sweet font could be romance or cozy mystery. Historicals are dressed in period costume, and dark images are probably suspense or science fiction. But I checked out a book yesterday (based on the cover & title) that was none of the above. The bright yellow cover with a sweetly framed photo of a car driving down a country lane with two golden retrievers looking on seemed like a nice summer read. Wow. The language was – offensive. And I don’t offend that easily. Unfortunately, this didn’t become manifest until the third chapter in and I felt duped.

Unless the book is on an endcap or facing out, chances are the cover isn’t what you’ll see first. Most books are stacked side-by-side with the title running down the length of the spine. The publisher has about one inch of space to catch your eye. The font and color are important here, but the title and/or the author’s name carry the weight. I thought the (offensive) book I’d chosen had a cute title, but I’ll keep it to myself because I’m not recommending it. (Or finishing it either, for that matter.) If the book is part of a series, there will probably be a clue in the title and you might want to begin with the first one, although it’s usually not imperative.

When a book interests you and you pull it from the shelf, you’ll look first at the cover. Then you’ll probably flip it over to read the back copy. Sometimes, there are only endorsements from other authors or critics, and you have to look at the inside flap to get an idea of the story. Sometimes, not even then. At some point, you’ll flip open the book to the first chapter and read the opening sentence. This can make or break your decision to buy it or check it out. Here are a few opening sentences that convinced me to give these books a try:

“I was sitting in a taxi, wondering if I had overdressed for the evening, when I looked out the window and saw Mom rooting through a Dumpster.” The Glass Castle

“In the town there were two mutes, and they were always together.” The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

“I told you last night that I might be gone sometime, and you said, Where, and I said, To be with the Good Lord, and you said, Why, and I said, Because I’m old, and you said, I don’t think you’re old.” Gilead

“I am ninety. Or ninety-three. One or the other.” Water for Elephants

“It’s hard being left behind.” The Time Traveler’s Wife

By reading the first sentence, you’ll also get an idea of who is telling the story and what tense is being used, but it’s a good idea to flip through if you have a preference. I found one book which began in a perfectly normal viewpoint and multiplied exponentially – every other paragraph was in a different character’s viewpoint. I felt exhausted, just looking at it.

I have a small notepad in my purse now with titles listed that I can refer to the next time I’m cruising for a good book. Or craft supplies. Have you ever been fooled by a book cover or title that misrepresented the content? Do you have an opening sentence that you fell in love with and made you buy (or check out) the book? I’d love to hear.

Walking on Air

“Whenever I see a sight like these clouds, I think maybe everyone is wrong; maybe you can walk on air. Maybe we should just try. Everything could have changed without our noticing. Laws of physics, I mean. Why not? I want it to be true that such miracles occur.” What We Keep, Elizabeth Berg

This is the voice of a woman in need of a miracle, someone who wants so much to find answers and is willing to consider more than what she's always believed.

Sharon's post got me thinking about voice, and I pulled some great examples from recent & favorite reads:

“I have been afraid of putting air in a tire ever since I saw a tractor tire blow up and threw Newt Hardbine’s father over the top of the Standard Oil sign. I’m not lying.” The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver

A teen-aged girl from a small Southern town tells her story.

“Late afternoon. We were playing, my gang against his, and when he ran at me again, bully that he was, bigger than me, and catching me off balance, I felt the power go out of me as I shouted: “You’ll never get where you’re going.” He fell down white in the sandy earth…” Christ the Lord, Anne Rice

Jesus as a child - you just want to know what he was like as a kid.

“At night I would lie in bed and watch the show, how bees squeezed through the cracks of my bedroom wall and flew circles around the room, making that propeller sound, a high-pitched zzzzzz that hummed along my skin.” The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd

I still find myself wondering if the bees were real or a figment of this young girl's imagination, although they were very real to her.

“’It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife” Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

I love the wry humor in this, since Lizzy is in no hurry to be married. Even if she didn't directly say it, you can hear her pointing it out, can't you?

“I was born in 1904, so that when I was pregnant in 1943 I was near enough to be past the rightful age to bear children.” Jewel, Bret Lott

There is so much about Jewel's situation in this first sentence.

“It’s hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he’s okay. It’s hard to be the one who stays.” The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger

Her loneliness and heartbreak is palpable. I felt for her before I even knew her.

"I'm ninety. Or ninety-three. One or the other." Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen

Such spunk shows in these few words. If he were young, he would say, "Whatever."

‘Susan Scott is a wonder. We sold over forty copies of the book, which was very pleasant, but much more thrilling from my standpoint was the food. Susan managed to procure ration coupons for icing sugar and real eggs for the meringue.” The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

She sounds like the kind of person I would like to know - upbeat, positive and excited by life.

I recently returned a book to the library after only reading three chapters, and it was due to my frustration with the main characters. They had no distinct voices. Readers should be able to tell that a character is a poor farmer living in the deep South during WWII without having to be told! I'm not advocating the use of dialect. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers suggests using word choice, cadence and grammar to impart this rather than to distract the reader with dropped endings or phonetic spellings.

From comments we've received, voice is a strong determining factor as to whether or not a reader sticks with a book to the end. I started the same book 3 times and finally finished it, and I realize that there was no particular voice established until several chapters into the story. But the book had a voice of its own, and that's what I was getting for the first chapter or so. It turned out to be a very good story, which I will post on in the near future.

Have you struggled with a book's voice and been glad you persevered?

First Things First

Welcome back to our 'Teeth and Bones Editing Contest'. Here's the scoop:

How to enter: Comment on the Novel Matters blog anytime between Monday, September 6th, and Friday September 17th. At the bottom of your comment type TABEC (short for Teeth and Bones Editing Contest). Only comments with these letters at the bottom will be eligible to win (we understand that not all our readers are interested in this level of editing, but would still want to be free to comment and discuss editing - that's the reason we require interested people to please use the TABEC letters at the bottom of their comments). The winner will work one on one with Bonnie Grove via e-mail. The winner will consent to having the first paragraph of the work posted on Novel Matters in a before and after comparison. This means the winner will agree to have the first paragraph of your WIP appear on the blog, first as it was originally written, then in its edited form.

I want to address a crucial consideration that can be difficult to face, or even consider facing, during the editing process: does your story start in the right place? And while it may not be the wrong place exactly, are you willing to do the major rewrite necessary to make the story the best it can be?

You may have heard that many stories actually start on the third chapter. Cut the first 3 chapters and you cut the fluff and get down to the action. You'll never miss them. I've had to do it myself, and it's really painful to amputate what represents many months of work and research to perfect the story. But this advice doesn't work for every genre. Opening with the action doesn't fit every story, so we have to consider who is giving the advice, which 'how-to' book we're reading and the type of fiction that particular author writes. I had this experience at a writers conference when I submitted my proposal for critique to a well-known author who writes exceptional thrillers and his advice to me was to cut away to the action. Do away with the first five pages. Start with the tension high, place the protagonist in the thick of things. Before I followed his advice, I submitted that same proposal to an editor at the conference who did not agree with the suggested change. He pointed out that it wasn't the same type of story, and happily, he liked it just fine.

At least in literary or upmarket fiction, the place where your story begins isn't always where the book should start. Most stories are linear - the story starts at the beginning and finishes at the end, but that isn't necessarily how the story should be told. Consider Water for Elephants, with its opening sentence establishing the protagonist is near the end of his life, as does Marilyn Robinson's Gilead. There is determination and urgency in telling the story from the perspective of a life having been already lived, looking back at how it all unfolded, for good or ill. That's putting the character into the thick of things emotionally, driving the story along.

I recently read Olive Kitteridge, which has a unique way of telling Olive's story. It's not written from beginning to end. Every chapter is written either from Olive's viewpoint, or from someone who knew her, revealing different aspects of her character in their interactions with her. The story begins with her husband's perspective instead of Olive's, which I think sets the tone for the book. I can't say that I truly enjoyed the book, but it was worth reading for the unique structure and the characterizations. (language & subject matter warning)

A word of caution: Some writers start with prologues, but these are not generally met with enthusiasm by editors. I'm sure there have been some excellent books that opened with prologues, but none come immediately to mind. So, if you have a smash-up prologue, go for it. Just don't make it a deal-breaker. Some writers get around the whole prologue issue by placing the first chapter or opening scene out of sequence with the rest of the story. It could work. It probably has.

Personally, at least for upmarket fiction, I feel it's imperative to consider your book as a whole, look objectively at what point in the story it's understood what the protagonist wants or must overcome, and begin there. Readers will only invest themselves in a book when they respect the protagonist and feel the goal is legitimate, and when this is expressed early enough to maintain interest. That kind of story is worth the rewrite.

Let us know what you think & for a chance to win that critique!

Defining Character Traits

We've been following up on a topic that Sharon started with her post about anti-heroes last week. Thanks for propping the door open for us, Sharon. All kinds of wonderful things are slipping out! And as Katy said, many are stepping out from real-life.

Last Friday night, we joined our son and his friends at Tango Yogurt (a happening place in our small town). We were enjoying our dessert on the patio beneath giant orange umbrellas and it wasn't long before we noticed something odd about a man sitting inside the shop. He was large, middle-aged, dark-featured, well groomed, stony-faced and wore dark sunglasses - at 8:00 at night. He sat alone in a small iron cafe chair that pitched him slightly forward at an angle that suggested he was ready to spring. He looked like a bouncer...or a creep. Why the sunglasses? Who could tell where his attention was focused? Was it on the lone girl behind the counter or the eager children who came in with their parents? Was he looking through the shop window at the young women in our group? We stole nervous glances at him for forty-five minutes and never saw him move. Families with excited children and teens milled around inside choosing flavors of yogurt and toppings, but he sat immobile. We grew nervous about what would happen at closing time if no one else was around. Was imagination getting the best of us, and should we stay, just in case? Whether out of curiosity or concern, we arrived at the unspoken agreement to wait.

Near closing time, he stood. He reached down onto a chair beside him which was blocked from our view and picked up a bouquet of orange lilies. He walked through the crowd, out of the shop right past us, smelling of aftershave, and we heard him say into his Bluetooth, "I'll be fine." He headed for a white minivan, walked around to the passenger side and carefully placed the flowers on the seat. Then, he got in on the driver's side and left.

Were we surprised? You bet. And chagrined. The man who at first appeared to be sinister, now looked like he'd been jilted. He was man with a heart who was waiting for a blind-date that probably walked through to secretly check him out and then decided against contact after all. His disappointment was palpable, and we felt embarrassed for having misjudged him and for witnessing the indignity of his situation.

I thought about the poor guy all weekend.

Good writers can surprise us with first impressions of their characters, revealing defining traits and making them memorable. Here are a few intriguing character descriptions or important scenes that give insight in a few lines. The authors carefully chose the physical descriptions for what they reveal about the character's nature.

"The stranger remained silent and motionless, enveloped in the blue smoke of a cigarette that never seemed to go out. I realized he didn't smell of tobacco, but of burned paper. Good paper, the sort used for books." from The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

"As one tends the graves of the dead, so I tend the books. I clean them, do minor repairs, keep them in good order. And every day I open a volume or two, read a few lines or pages, allow the voices of the forgotten dead to resonate inside my head. Do they sense it, these dead writers, when their books are read? Does a pinprick of light appear in their darkness? Is their soul stirred by the feather touch of another mind reading theirs? I do hope so. For it must be very lonely being dead." from The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

"He rowed standing, facing forward, a tottery business; twice as I watched one of his narrow sweeps missed the water completely and he lurched like old Quixote, hooting to himself...Forth he came through the parting mists. To this day I don't know what took hold of me as he approached." From So Brave, Young and Handsome by Leif Enger

"I don't know how many times people have asked me what death is like, sometimes when they were only an hour or two from finding out themselves...I used to say it was like going home." from Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

"I edge up to the glass and raise my face, squinting against the sunlight. It's so bright it takes a moment for me to make out what's happening. Then the form takes shape. In the park at the end of the block is an enormous canvas tent, thickly striped in white and magenta with an unmistakable peaked top - My ticker lurches so hard I clutch a fist to my chest." from Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen

"Don't you see," he asked, his voice soft. "This poor child will most likely have a serious heart defect. A fatal one. I'm trying to spare us all a terrible grief." He spoke with conviction. He believed his own words. The nurse sat staring at him, her expression surprised but otherwise unreadable, as he waited for her to say yes. In the state of mind he was in it did not occur to him that she might say anything else." from The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

"At the moment Ethan Frome, after climbing to his seat, had leaned over to assure himself of the security of a wooden box-also with a druggist's label on it-which he had placed in the back of the buggy, and I saw his face as it probably looked when he thought himself alone. "That man touch a hundred? He looks as if he was dead and in hell now!" from Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton

"Ruby looked at us from a distance as if we were contagious. She wore bright lipstick that made the spittle at the corners of her mouth a milky pink. Her hair floated above her scalp in a blurry auburn haze. She patted it gently, as if to make sure it hadn't gone anywhere. "Margaret, we best get going," she said. "This rain is ruining my permanent." from Feeling for Bones by Bethany Pierce

With so many great literary examples, and all the interesting people in the world, we should be able to avoid creating boring characters. Can you give an example of a character who (for better or worse) sticks in your mind? It may even be one from your own manuscript. If so, let us know what significant trait you used to give insight into his/her character. We would love to hear from you!

Three's a Crowd, or Four or Five...

Is it just me, or does it seem like too many characters are clamoring for their own viewpoints lately? I'm reading a book right now by a bestselling ABA author who is confusing the heck out of me. She's an excellent writer and the story is compelling, but when I finally sit down to catch up on my reading after a long day at work, I find that I can't easily jump back into the story. A day or two goes by, and the characters are like dropped threads in a tapestry. Get them mixed up, and you have a mess on your hands. I really want to know how it ends, so I flip back a few pages to see which character's name is conveniently printed below the chapter heading. Hmm...Poindexter. Which one was he again - the retired college professor with unmarked graves in his backyard, the bi-polar guy who paints the Golden Gate bridge for a living or the major league umpire who's on the take? It makes me want to pick up a different book that doesn't involve so much work on my part to read.

There are three basic options available for viewpoint which apparently can now be further defined (third person limited, close third, distant third-yikes!) but how do we know which one is the best choice for the story? Here are some that were obvious choices:

• The Time-Traveler's Wife alternates between the first-person viewpoints of both main characters. They are both fully invested in the story, present at the action, and labeled with name tags. It's a love story, so both their thoughts are vital to the story's development.
• Water For Elephants is told in the viewpoint of one main character as a sort of memoir, which is a logical fit for first person, single viewpoint.
• Bel Canto is told in an omniscient viewpoint since the story involves the fate of a group of people who are held hostage. It doesn't identify with one main character, but drops into the thoughts of several individuals to tell the story since they are all equally affected by the events. Stephen King also does this viewpoint well.
  
• The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is told through the use of letters between acquaintances, which are by nature, first person. There is one main protagonist whose character arc is the longest, but the viewpoints of others are important to the story.
• Gilead is an elderly father's first person account of his life to his young son, which is also best told in single viewpoint.
• To Kill a Mockingbird is told through the first person single viewpoint of a child. As the powerful events are recounted through her filter, we see the issues distilled down in their simplest form.
• Gone With the Wind is told in third person and largely in the viewpoint of Scarlett, although other viewpoints are used. Again, hers is the largest character arc.
  

When an idea first presents itself, we usually 'see' it in a certain viewpoint, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the correct one. I have gone so far as to write several chapters in one viewpoint and written them over again in another, just to see which works best for the story. If first person makes the telling of the story awkward, I find third person is the most flexible. The objective is to find the best voice for your story without causing the reader confusion or cause them to stop reading.

For our writers, what made you choose the viewpoint for the manuscript you are currently writing, and for our readers, which viewpoint do you prefer to read? We'd love to hear.

TENSION in Dialogue

"On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

TWO TURTLE DOVES!"

I'll send the complete 3-book Garden Gate series, signed as you like, to the person who can find an author's last name in the phrase: TWO TURTLE DOVES and name a title by that author OR submit a book title with one of the words from the phrase and the author. Submit your entry using the "Contact" button above. See complete details for the contest on the November 23rd post. Good Luck! The winner will be announced on Friday, November 27th. You'll have the books by Christmas!

Christmas.

Love. Light. Hope. TENSION!

Kohls and Kmart want me to go Christmas shopping at 4 AM. This isn't going to happen. No way. No how.

I will try my hardest (during civilized shopping hours) to find low-cost, eco-friendly, functional, surprising, life-affirming, unique gifts for 30 people. Sure, I could give gift cards, but I feel like I'm cheating, like I'm not willing to tremble the synapses to find the just-right gift. I know some of you will think I'm obsessive-compulsive. Please don't scold me. I'll only feel worse.

And that brings us to tension in dialogue. You must have it. I'm not talking about angry, arguing voices. I'm talking about two characters with conflicting motivations and needs conversing, purposefully.

Tension is what holds a reader in a story. They're wondering what will happen next for the characters they've come to love. Tension in fiction happens best in dialogue. I've selected three examples for your consideration. In each example the characters want something in conflict with what the other character wants.

In this first example from The Persian Pickle Club by Sandra Dallas, Queenie and her husband, Grover, are talking about a family who is camping on their land as they journey westward to California during the Depression.

“I hope you shooed them right off. You know how I hate tramps.”

“They’re not tramps, Queenie.”

The way he said it made me look at him. “Well, gypsies, then. It’s almost the same thing.”

“No, they’re not gypsies, either. Not these folks. They’re just people, hill people, down-and-out. They’re pretty near as broke as anybody I ever saw.”

“You told them to move on, didn’t you?”

“No,” he said, rubbing the little port-wine spot on his chin.

“We can’t have people like that camping on our land.”

“What do you mean, ‘people like that’?” Grover asked. He moved his hand away from mine and picked up a hermit and bit it in half, spilling crumbs on the table. “They’re people like Ruby and Floyd. People like you and me.”

Queenie wants the travelers to move on. She's uncomfortable with their presence, maybe she's frightened. Grover, on the other hand, sees these folks as people having a difficult time, like some of the people he knows. Dallas demonstrates the tension in the probing questions of Queenie and the resoluteness of Grover. Also, she uses dialogue tags masterfully--rubbing of the chin, the moving away of a hand--to show tension. Delicious! (BTW, hermits are a baked good.)

This next example is from Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. Camel is a circus worker and Jacob is a fresh-faced kid joining up.

Camel squints up at me. “What did you say your name was?”

“Jacob Jankowski.”

“You got red hair.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Where you from?”

I pause. Am I from Norwich or Ithaca? Is where you’re from the place you’re leaving or where you have roots?

“Nowhere,” I say.

Camel’s face hardens. He weaves slightly on bowed legs, casting an uneven light from the swinging lantern. “You done something, boy? You on the lam?”

Camel wants to know something about this kid he'll be sharing a boxcar with. Jacob doesn't want to be known. Gruen uses short, choppy sentences and questions meant to rouse and some that aren't answered at all to create story-driving, reader-hooking tension. I love it.

In the category of books I wish I'd written is The Whistling Season by Ivan Doig, a story about loyalty, tradition, and family--all in a one-roomed schoolhouse in Montana. In this example of tension in dialogue, Doig builds tension by having the characters interrupt one another. Listening is the toughest thing to do when you want to be the boss of everything.

Eddie Turley was one thing Carnelia and I could agree on. We both knew what an incurable pain in the neck Eddie could be when he wanted to. Panic starting to show in us, she and I faced each other with the breeze-blown rope between us. We had to invent together or else.

“I think we first of all have to put that through there and then—”

“No, dummy, that’s backwards, we to need to—”

“You’re not the boss of everything. Let me—”

“Will you just not be so grabby and–watch out!”

It was not clear who had been in main possession of the flag and who hadn’t. But there it lay, dumped in the dirt between us.

I didn't experience one lick of trouble finding dialogue with tension, some more subtle than others. That's because good writers always keep their character's motivations--wants and needs--in mind when they write dialogue.

Upmarket books – what are they and why are they hot right now?

I recently sent an article to my agent, Janet Grant. It was about a type of book called “upmarket.” Since I had never heard the term, I thought I was giving her a heads-up to a new market trend. To my surprise, she replied, “Yeah, I heard this term at the San Francisco writers' conference in February; every editor was touting it.” And then she added,“So now you know how to talk about your novels...”

So what is an upmarket book? Here’s a quote from the article I read by Chuck Sambuchino,
an editor for Writer's Digest Books :

Simply put, it's fiction that blends the line between commercial and literary. To further examine this, let's break down those two terms. Commercial fiction, essentially, refers to novels that fall into a typical genre (thriller, let's say). Commercial fiction can sell very well because it usually has a tight premise/logline ("Someone is trying to kill the president!") and people like reading a category like thrillers because it's exciting. Literary fiction refers to novels that don't fit into any standard genre classification - romance, mystery, sci-fi, for example. Literary fiction requires the highest command of the language. Not pretentious, over-the-top purple prose - just simply excellent writing. . .

It has commercial potential. It has the ability to infiltrate lots of book clubs and start discussions and take off as a product. It's a win-win for everyone. I've heard a lot of agents say that they are looking for "literary fiction with a commercial appeal," or something like that. Well, one word that does the job of those six is "upmarket," and that's why you hear it so much. If you're writing narrative nonfiction or upmarket fiction, chances are, there are a ton of agents out there willing to consider your work.

Some examples of upmarket fiction (just my opinion): Water for Elephants; Jodi Picoult's books; The Lovely Bones; Michael Chabon's books.

Read the whole article here:

I can say that each of us Novel Matters writers aspires to literary excellence. We all think that something worth saying is worth saying in a memorable way, reveling in words, using to the fullest extent the precision of language and the shared delight of unexpected insight. (Oh art, we do indeed love you..)

Francine Rivers has called our own Bonnie Grove “the Jodi Picoult of Christian fiction.” Sharon Souza's careful, penetrating descriptions of heartbreaking dilemmas and the people caught up with them are masterful. Katy Popa makes desert places into characters and embues the people she writes about – some exotic, some earthy, some everywoman – with something pungent, beyond words. And I know why both Debbie Thomas and Patti Hill were nominated for Christy Awards: Each of them befriends the reader and then takes them on an adventure of wonder, a landscape of words with luscious surprises.

What do you think of this concept, upmarket fiction? Who are you reading now who qualifies for this term?